


Ten Steps to Say Goodbye

by hyperius



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Jason Todd loves his family, Jason Todd-centric, Not a happy open ending tho, Protective Jason Todd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:02:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24429181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyperius/pseuds/hyperius
Summary: Jason knows the chance of coming back from this mission is slim… nonexistent, even. But, that’s ok. He’s ready for this. He’s made a to-do list: his Ten Steps to Say Goodbye
Relationships: Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne & Damian Wayne
Comments: 36
Kudos: 230





	Ten Steps to Say Goodbye

Jason knows the chance of coming back from this mission is slim… nonexistent, even. But, that’s ok. He’s ready for this. He’s made a to-do list: his Ten Steps to Say Goodbye.

**1\. Write Tim a note, and hide it in his room.**

Tim’s never been good at facing death, that much was obvious. The boy feels too strongly, cares too deeply, and loves too openly. For all his strength and intelligence, his heart will be his downfall. Jason doesn’t want his death to affect Tim, to hurt Tim, to make him cry. So, he writes a note. A note to help Tim move on:

_Dear Timberella,  
I’m dead. No- no, even from the grave I can see those tears. Suck those bad boys back up, cause guess what? This was my decision. My choice. Yeah, I know, it sucks, but life sucks sometimes. I know we won’t have any more Great Pancake Wars, but I’m sure the little demon spawn will be happy to join in on your breakfast endeavors.  
Don’t cry for me, Baby Bird. It’s ok. Death isn’t too bad, I promise. And frankly, we’ll probably be seeing each other again all too soon, one way or another. That’s just a part of being family, we can’t fucking get rid of each other.  
Love you, dumbass._

**2\. Hide the weapons he knows Damian has always wanted in the Baby Bat’s room.**

What is a dead man going to do with knives and swords? Might as well give them to a good home. The only good home for them all would be Damian, the kid would know how to care for all his delicate weapons. Besides, he sees the way the Baby Bat stares, longingly at some of his weapons, so might as well? Jason won’t make it easy though. He’ll hide them well throughout the kid’s room, some easier and some harder to find. It’ll take months for Damian to find them all, but it will be worth it-

That way Damian may find one after a bad day, and how stumbling upon the delicate weapon would make the bad day just a little bit better. How, even months after he’s gone, Damian may find one, and he he’ll think back on Jason in some form fondness. It’ll make him remember. It’ll make them remember.

Jason won’t be forgotten. Not again.

**3\. Write positive notes on sticky notes, and place them around the manor for Alfred to find.**

Alfred deserves the best. He always has and always will. Jason will make sure he will always get the best, even dead. He’ll make sure Alfred always remembers he’s loved and cared for. He’ll write little sticky notes and hide them around the manner- all of them positive, all of them loving:

“Never stop making your famous roast beef. It’s my favorite”  
“Treat yourself to a movie, you deserve a day to love yourself”  
“You’re the best grandpa I could have”  
“I never doubted you.”  
“I missed you most.”  
“I love you.”

**4\. He would cross out ‘a good soldier’ and replace it with ‘a son I never had.’**

He hates it, even now. A Good Soldier. A Good, fucking soldier. Not a son. Not a- not anything more than a pawn in an elaborate game of chess. He refuses to be remembered like that, to be remembered as a soldier.

He’ll break into the cave, tearing away at the letters of the plate on the memorial until the words are illegible. After that, he’ll write on top of it in a crimson, red paint: “A Son I Never Had.”

A sick part of him hopes it makes Bruce cry. He hopes it makes Bruce regret. He hopes it makes Bruce realize what he could have had, if only he reached out.

It makes himself just as angry, just as sad; because he only ever wanted to be a son. He only ever wanted to have a dad- to have Bruce look at him the way he looks at Dick, Damian, Tim…

He would leave the cave ready for his mission.

**5\. He’d put his favorite book in Bruce’s study.**

He knows he’ll realize, he doesn’t want to leave like that. He doesn’t want to die the lesser man, upset, and angry; sorrow and hatred burning in his heart like it’s done most his life.

He’d take his favorite book, the one that has been worn down with age and love - the one his mother passed on to him after her own death. He’d put it in Bruce’s study, almost as a little apology after vandalizing the memorial case, in a sense. Something of an olive branch, coming far too late. It means a great deal- he hopes Bruce will recognize it as that (and he knows he will).

To pass on the book, it’s like passing on his heart. He only hopes Bruce won’t let it break this time.

**6\. He’d go to Blüdhaven and trash Dicks apartment**

It’s revenge for all the _bad_ Dick has been. Revenge for Dick hating him when he was Robin, for neglecting him when he came back to life. Revenge for pushing him into the bay to let him drown. Revenge for everything he has done, for every year he has forced Jason to tears, for making Jason hate being Robin on those few bad days because he truly fell for Dick’s lies- for he believed Dick when he said Jason didn’t deserve it- that he’d become a villain- Revenge, because Dick had been right all along.

He never did deserve to be Robin.

**7\. When Dick cleans up his apartment, he’d find little nostalgic memories along with the mess.**

For all the bad Dick has been, he was forever and always Jason’s older brother. In the mess of the apartment, Jason will leave a picture; the one of them at the baseball game, when they were young, laughing, and innocent. He’d leave the bracelet Dick won for him at the state fair- the one Jason never took off. He’d return Dick’s shirt that he stole, not even bothering to wash the mustard stain off. He’d leave the drawing that they did together, the one when Jason was Robin- the one Jason could never throw out, because it was the first thing they ever did together that didn’t turn into a fight. It was the turning point, the moment they started to bond, started to become brothers. It was the first time Jason looked at Dick and thought of him as a brother.

Jason died two months later.

He knows Dick will cry finding it. _Good_ , because Jason will cry when he has to leave it behind.

**8\. He’d blow up his safe houses.**

No one will know he was there. It would be like he never came back to life. He’d be just another ghost, another abandoned building littering the streets of Gotham. Forgotten.

Perhaps that’s what it should have been like in the first place.

**9\. He’d see Roy, and kiss him like it’s their very last kiss (it is).**

Roy was the reason he learned to want to live again. In fact, Roy taught him to live- not just survive. No matter how many shitty things Jason would throw Roy’s way, he would bounce back and return it to Jason two fold. He wouldn’t let Jason rot in despair, as Roy knew way too well what that felt like.

He did what Bruce should have have done.

Through it all, he healed Jason. And Jason would find him, kiss him, platonic or not _he doesn’t care_ , because this is his goodbye.

He’d leave without a word. After all, they wouldn’t need to say anything.

**10\. He’d spend a night on top of the Gotham roofs, remembering all the good, and finally putting the bad to bed.**

His last night in Gotham, he’d spend on top of Wayne Enterprises: no mask, no armor, simply watching. Watching as the nights goes by, enjoying his home for all he can. Good or bad as it was, it was his. His. His home, his city, his heart. He hates to leave it again, but he knows he must.

He’d remember the good more than the bad, as he wants to go happily this time- not like the first.

He’d remember the day Bruce got him and made him Robin. He’d remember how his heart began to pound and soul sour. He never felt happiness like that before. He never had so much hope.

He’d remember cooking with Alfred. He’d remember trying to sneak some of the cookie dough, but of course, Alfred would catch him and smack his hand with a wooden spoon. It felt so domestic, and he’d laugh- which would make Alfred laugh - and then they’d both eat the cookie dough together. Secretly, of course. It was their secret.

He remembers Dick and their Pizza Adventure. They wanted to find the very best pizza in Gotham, so they went to every single fucking pizza establishments in the city, and ordered all the pizzas they could. By the time they got home, they were stuffed and greasy and absolutely miserable. It was one of the best nights he had.

He’d remember Tim and their movie nights. He’d remember making pillow forts and hanging up fairy lights, and he’d remember making too much buttery popcorn. He’d remember them watching a variety of movies, and both of them crying over the cheesy romance scenes, and clinging together when it got scary.

He’d remember Damian, and taking him out to a petting zoo. He’d remember Damian trying to steal an Alpaca because he felt it wasn’t being treated right- and he’d remember helping stick the Alpaca in the batmobile to get it back to the cave.

He’d remember, with a smile on his face. He’ll stand when the day breaks before making his way back to the only safe house left standing.

After all, it’s time for his mission, and time to erase the last trace of his existence.

When his very last safehouse goes up in flames, the world will know Red Hood died to let them live.

_Red Hood sacrificed himself to be a Good Soldier._

**Author's Note:**

> How'd you guys like it?  
> If you want, I made a tumblr: [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/hyperius-drabbles)


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